Finding My Footing - LA week 2

Each day seems to be a new challenge. Even just getting out of bed gets harder and harder with each day.

Every day brings just about the same thing, with the same droopy weather and gray clouds. I’m waiting for the one where it switches up. At least just a little bit to give me something new.

I will say it hasn’t been all bad thankfully. I’m getting along with my roommates, meeting new people at the church I found to get plugged into, and making content for a podcast that I’ve dreamed about for years.

(Also go check out the podcast: Against the Grain on Spotify)

But I’m going to be honest, this past week has been mentally draining. I’m missing home and all the moments I could have had with my friends, but chose to spend my summer in a foreign place, 380 miles away from them. It’s difficult zooming with them and the connection doesn’t work, allowing isolation to sink in just like that. Even the moment I first called my mom I had to choke back the tears because I wasn’t there watching the PGA Championship at home on the couch with her.

I’ve had to distract myself by posting podcast content on every platform I can think of, reading “Things We Never Got Over” by Lucy Score (highly recommend by the way), watching XO Kitty on Netflix and going to the gym almost every day.

As I mentioned, there has been light shine through the cracks and one of those is this podcast I created. While it was originally supposed to be with one of my best friends, Taylor, we decided it would be best that I start it now and she could potentially join later. With this platform (despite the small size of it right now), I want to promote women not just in golf, but every sport. To have open and honest conversations about what we face and the world we’re living in. Eventually I also want to tie in my faith with the topics, but I’ll save that for after this program.

I’ve been able to see the support through this podcast and the way people have wanted to see a topic like this be talked about. It’s something that shouldn’t stay under the surface level, but should be mentioned and confronted.

LA has also taught me a lot about the city and myself. I’ve learned that Downtown LA is terrifying to drive in, it’s best to walk everywhere and always go with a buddy, no matter the destination. But I've been able to dig deeper into who I am.

I’m someone who thrives on being creative and making content that I feel needs to be out in the world. Someone who needs to be with her friends and family (and cats) on a daily basis. And I’m also a person that can’t live in a city that is gray literally every single day.

While there’s still quite some time left in this program, I know there will be more ups and downs that come. There will most likely be more tears wishing I was back home in the sunshine (at least I get a visit home in a month) and FaceTime calls that get disconnected due to our WiFi issues. But I’ll continue to learn so many new things in this place and have memories now that will last a lifetime.

God has led me here for a reason and I’m determined to find it, whether it’s spreading the Gospel to my roommates or being a light people can see in Los Angeles amongst the gray skies. His guidance keeps me going and is allowing me to trust Him even in the hard times. I just have to continue to walk by faith.